[Previously ‘Renouncing my blog’, but then I looked up renouncing and found it didn’t mean what I wanted]
Sometimes, my blog brings me trouble. I find that mid thinking, or reading, or praying, the thought comes: ‘Ooh! I could write a post on this.’ And if I’m not on my guard, I might start planning it out, coming up with my clever points and witty expressions. And then, I try to actually write it, and it sucks. It’s forced, and you can tell. Meanwhile, my thinking, reading and praying have been ruined by the distraction, and I’m left without peace.
The problem is, I become attached to my blog. Often, writing a post has brought me great joy and fulfilment, which is great! Often it’s a deep spiritual joy. But when I become attached to these feelings, and desire my happiness, my success, they become poisonous. I’m no longer writing for the sake of what I’m writing/for God, and it becomes full of effort and self, and therefore lifeless. Meanwhile, I find no happiness or fulfilment, because these come from God alone.
I can’t write for self and for God. If I’m attached to anything finite, I’m constrained from the infinite.
We must be detached from everything, even spiritual pleasure, even the service of God, because they aren’t God. ‘God alone is good.’
So, I have to renounce Blogging. I’m not quitting, but I am giving it up to God.
How do I do this? I have to accept that nothing that matters is in my power, except to love God; then I have to love God, and let Him do what He wants with me and my blog.
God bless you!